Self Care Part II

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Self Care Part II

This is the second in a series of articles dealing with caring for yourself while working on your dissertation. It is important to tap into all of your social, emotional, and intellectual resources to complete this next phase of your academic career. I hope these tips and hints will aid you in feeling happier and being more productive.

1) Remember that your dissertation is a choice. Sounds simple, but sometimes remembering this can be very powerful. It might allow you to move from feeling overwhelmed and helpless to recognizing your capacity to make this choice and follow through on it. There is nothing worse than feeling "forced" to do something, so try and change that feeling if you can.

2) Remember that, at any time, you can choose something else. This applies to deciding not to do the dissertation, but also, to the idea that you can choose how you feel about something. In psychology, this fits in with the technique of "reframe" in which you find another point of view on the same situation. In my practice, we call this "The Third Option", which allows us to consider various choices for the same problem. It's great for increasing creativity, too.

3) Be as open as is comfortable about your feelings of stress, fear, and being overwhelmed. Express these feelings in your journal, or to your coach or other support system, and get them out of your way.

4) Don't deprive yourself. A friend of mine went through the initial phases of the dissertation process and set all these weird limits on herself, like "I won't get my hair cut until I finish the first draft". Keep in mind, now, that she was nowhere close to writing that draft, and her hair annoyed her constantly. It was the one main feature of our conversations, aside from the dissertation. This sounds really silly, but it highlights how depriving we can be of ourselves and for no reason - the length of my friend's hair had nothing to do with completion of her dissertation, aside from the fact that she was living with pointless daily annoyance. She was wasting away energy and intellect over something unrelated and, at the same time, depriving herself of something that would have made her feel good. You'll be glad to know that she finally "got it" and had her hair cut at the next possible opportunity. :)

5) Don't jam-pack your schedule with "musts", "shoulds" or "have tos" Leave time for "whatever". Too often we fill our lives and schedules with too many activities or responsibilities and find ourselves rushing from one "have to" to the next. You'll find that your life runs more smoothly when you can leave room for the unexpected - things that run over, run late, or otherwise don't happen as planned.

6) Ask for help when you need it. A friend, family member, or coach can be a great source of support and help. Don't be afraid to reach out for help - more often than not, you'll actually get it. There is no extra credit for going through this process alone.

7) Consider using a daily affirmation. This will remind you to slow down, live in the present moment, and convince your subconscious to get on board and work with you to meet your goals. When creating an affirmation, it is important to make them clear, as short as possible, and to use the present tense. An example would be "I meet my goals with ease." NOT "I wish I could meet my goals with ease." One to try: "Today I think with clarity, write with ease, and accomplish without strain." That version was helpful in graduate school, and I use a variant on it now, as I work to build my professional practice. It helps to remind me what I'm striving for and feels pretty good to say out loud.

Finally, continue to have faith and confidence in yourself. You can do this.

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