Self Acceptance - January 2002

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Self Acceptance- January 2002

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1. Welcome to Live Your Best!

2. Strategies for Self Acceptance:

7 Ways To Like Yourself More

3. Announcement of Classes

4. Invitation to Live Your Best!

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Dear Live Your Best Subscriber,

Hello, and welcome to 2002! I hope this year has been

wonderful for you thus far!

I'm excited about this month's article on how to increase

your self acceptance- this is one of the main pillars of

living your best.

If you have articles or topics you'd like to see, please

email your suggestions to me at coach@maximalhappiness.com.

I hope you enjoy this issue, and I'll see you again

in February.

Warmly,

Rachna

*Please feel free to pass this issue along to people

that you care about!*

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Increase Your Self Acceptance: 7 Strategies to Like Yourself More

By Dr. Rachna D. Jain

The first principle of "Live Your Best" is to accept

yourself as you are. This is one area in which we may

tend to have difficulty. Many of us have grown up with

negative messages or negative experiences surrounding our

worth and value. Often, we don't feel worthy of living

the wonderful life we clearly desire.

In this article, I'll share seven success strategies to help

you like yourself more. Many of my clients have used these

with amazing results. I invite you to try them for yourself!

1) Get Rid of Tolerations.

One of the places that coaching often begins is in the area

of tolerations, which are aspects of your life that you are

"putting up with" or "tolerating". This can be something as

simple as a missing button on your favorite shirt, a crack in

your car's windshield, the wobbly front step) Whatever the

toleration is, it does get in the way of self acceptance.

If you spend precious time, energy, or thoughts worried about

something you can easily fix (i.e. by sewing the missing button

back on, or having the windshield repaired), why not take

one day and knock all these daily annoyances out of your life?

Life will run more smoothly, and you'll feel better, too!

2) Tame the Inner Critic.

The Inner Critic is that nagging voice we each possess which

continually tells us that we're not enough. This is the one that

pipes up and says things like, "That was so stupid. How could

you have been so stupid?" Know which voice I mean?? Taming

the Inner Critic is one HUGE step you can take to increase your

self-acceptance. Rather than saying, "That was SO stupid" the

next time you make a mistake, try replacing it with "Wow. That

was SO human". Notice how this feels. Try it for a week, and

notice how your self confidence starts to rise.

3) Have High Standards and Strong Boundaries

What is the difference between a "standard" and a "boundary"?

Simply defined, a standard is a rule you have for how you will

treat yourself. A boundary is a rule you have for how you will let

others treat you. To have high standards means that you allow

yourself to be human, and to make mistakes, while recognizing

that you are always striving to do the best you can. [I mean,

do you ever really *try* to do a bad job on something you care

about?] To have strong boundaries means that you intend to be

treated in a certain way- as with courtesy, kindness, and

compassion. The closer that your standards and boundaries

align, the more self-accepting you will be. Treat yourself the

way you want others to treat you, and request that others treat

you the way you want to be treated.

4) Be Consistent With Your Word.

Sounds simple, but this can be tricky. One way of increasing your

self acceptance is to "say what you do, and do what you say."

Too often, there is a mismatch between what we say we want,

and what we actually do. For example, using food habits as an

example, how many times have you heard someone say, "I want

to be healthy, so I'm cutting out junk food", and then you notice

this person is eating junk food? In my belief, this is doubly

harmful- one, from the physical health perspective, and two,

because this person has been inconsistent. The more

inconsistent we are in our self-talk, the more difficult it

is for us to like and trust ourselves. We tend to easily

believe we can't be trusted, which wears down our self

esteem even further.

5) Create A Fulfilling Environment For Yourself.

The more you like the space you live in, the more you will like

yourself. Very often, my clients are "hanging on" to outdated

books, clothes, household items, and ideas which no longer

serve them. It does none of us much good to be reminded of

what might have been. If you want to like yourself more, start

today by clearing out all the items which no longer "fit" your life

or your lifestyle. You'll have the space to fill your life with

more of what you really love!

6) Practice Giving and Accepting Compliments

Say nice things to others, and accept the nice things they

say about you. Really grasp that you are wonderful and

important to so many people. Try giving at least five sincere

compliments over this week, and accept the next 10 that come

your way. You may even want to write these down, to refer back

to when needed.

7) Recognize That Self-Acceptance Is A Journey.

It would be wonderful if we could just wake up tomorrow cleared

of all our negative stories. However, realistically, changing takes

time. Recognize that you want to like yourself more, and do what

it takes to get there. Change what you need to change, and

love the rest.

See you next month!

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Announcement of Workshops:

Next workshops slated to begin in March, 2002. Look for details

in next month's newsletter.

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Invitation to Live Your Best!

This month, consider making a New Year's UNresolution.

An UNresolution is something you agree to STOP doing.

[Sometimes it's easier to stop doing something than to

start doing something.]

Take the next right action to make your life better!

If you'd like to learn more about how coaching can help you

create your best life, I'd love to speak with you.

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