High Standards - March 2002

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High Standards & Strong Boundaries- March 2002

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1. Welcome to Live Your Best!

2. High Standards & Strong Boundaries

3. Invitation to Live Your Best!

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Dear Live Your Best Subscriber,

I want to start by welcoming all our new subscribers and

thanking you for the opportunity to add you to our

community!

For our continuing subscribers, thanks for your ongoing

support!

If you remember last month's issue, it was on the power

of intention. How did you do with applying intention to

your daily life? Did you notice any positive changes in

how smoothly your life ran?

If so, I'd love to hear about them!

This month's article focuses on the importance of having

high standards and strong boundaries.

You've probably heard that the relationship we have with

ourselves is mirrored by the relationships we have with

others- and vice versa.

If you want to know the current status of your standards

and your boundaries, take a look at your relationship

with yourself and with the important people in your life.

Our feature article will help you do just that.

I hope you enjoy this issue, and please feel free to contact

me: coach@maximalhappiness.com if you have stories you'd

like to share, or articles you'd like to request.

See you next month!

Warmly,

Rachna

*Please feel free to pass this issue along to people that you

care about!*

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Why Are High Standards & Strong Boundaries Important?

By Dr. Rachna D. Jain

The third principle of *Live Your Best!* is have high

standards and strong boundaries.

First, what is the difference between a standard and

a boundary?

Simply stated, a standard is a value you hold for yourself-

it speaks to how you treat yourself.

A boundary, then, is a value for how you allow yourself

to be treated- it speaks to how others treat you.

Having high standards and strong boundaries are equally

important facets of fulfilling relationships.

Consider the following questions and how they relate to

your standards for yourself:

1) Do I generally take good care of myself on a

daily basis?

This includes good nutrition, enough rest, relaxation and

play.

2) Do I speak kindly and gently to myself, ESPECIALLY

when I've made a mistake or done something 'stupid'?

Are you able to forgive yourself when you make a mistake?

Are you usually really nice to yourself?

3) Do I have integrity? Is there a match between what I

want and what I do?

Is there alignment between your actions and your intentions?

Do you act in ways that consistently bring you what you want?

4) Do I rarely use the word 'should'?

Try this: For one week, keep track of how many times you think

"I should...." or "S/he should..." This might surprise you. It's a

good way of keeping your self criticism and perfectionism in

check.

How did you do? If you answered "No" to 2 or more questions,

you might want to review your standards and see where you can

begin to shift and improve.

Having high standards allows you to feel a greater sense of ease,

comfort, and inner peace, because you know that you are caring

for yourself to the best of your ability. The other cool thing about

this is that the more you practice having high standards for yourself,

the easier it gets to maintain them!

Turning now to the area of boundaries, consider asking yourself the

following questions about your relationship style:

1) Do I have close relationships with other people?

This addresses your support system. Strive for at least 5, or more,

truly supportive connections. If you have less than 5, commit to

creating more!

2) Do I avoid connections so I can avoid being hurt?

If you find that you avoid asking for support, or making

new connections, this is one sign that your boundaries

could use some adjustment.

3) Am I able to ask for what I need? Do the people

in my life know what makes me happy and what

hurts me?

Part of having strong boundaries is related to letting others

know what you need. By being open about what hurts you,

and what makes you happy, you increase the opportunities

for others to give you what you need in your relationships

with them. You also get to learn a lot more about yourself

in the process of asking!

4) Do I feel a sense of joy when I think about the significant

people in my life?

If you don't feel a sense of joy and happiness when you think

about the people you love, this might be an area to explore

further. Are you taking too much responsibility in certain

relationships? Are they feeling like a burden or a "have to"?

Are you doing too many things you don't really want to do?

Do you find that your standards and boundaries could use a

little work? If so, why not begin today?

Remember, small changes can lead to big results!

See you next month!

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Invitation to Live Your Best!

Make a commitment this month to improve one key

relationship, by implementing a new standard or

boundary.

Notice the difference!

If you'd like to learn more about how coaching can help

you create your best life, I'd love to speak with you.

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